Yes. In the Name of 'God' Intention!

Proverbs 20:25
It is a trap to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider one's vows.

Vows. I can't even count the number of vows that I have made to myself, people, and most importantly to God, simply because I made too many without ever following through with them.
In this generation, we are taught to just say "Yes" to all things, as long as it seems 'good'. When I came across this proverb, the old me could identify with it completely because much of my life was based on so many rash 'yes' decisions and promises to me, people, and God Himself that resulted in sorry consequences and regret. I wish I could say that up until this point, I have been a woman of my word -- one who has been able to keep her word and follow through, not just partially but completely and thoroughly. But, I can't. I must admit that I had been so thoroughly trained in making decisions based on 'good' intentions (which is the excuse a lot of us use when we make bad decisions that result in sucky circumstances). More and more though, I'm learning that good intentions are not necessarily and (if I may say this) just usually not wise -- which in actuality make these good intentioned decisions result in some funky situations AND they really are not God's will. As I have been hitting this point over and over, the meaning of 'good' intention is being redefined in this new season in my life as I am coming to a place where I am understanding the value of my words, actions, and commitments. Not only that, I am coming to a place where I actually value my own words, actions, and commitments. And through this process, I am learning more of what 'God' intention looks like. haha. you liked that one didn't you?

'Good' intention.
I think making decisions from this place called 'good' intention makes us want to do so many great and noble things. We offer gifts and words of advice, we do some sacrificial acts for one another, and commit to things we know we can't follow through with, all in the name of 'good' intention. While there is nothing wrong with acting from this place -- if this is the only place we are doing things, it might be wise to reconsider the source from which we make decisions. Don't we ever face those moments of misunderstanding with others, when we give some advice out of 'good' intention only to be misunderstand. We turn out to be the bad guys all of a sudden. Then, there are also other moments when we do some nice and generous things for people, only for it to be misunderstood as some deceptive act -- to be turned around back on us again. This isn't to say that we should live always thinking about what other people would think, but a lot of the times we get into this trouble because there really are some hidden motivations and intentions that we ourselves are not aware of. Just maybe, we shouldn't have said those 'good' intentioned things because we just didn't understand the situation. And maybe, we just wasn't in the position to give someone something we felt that they needed... maybe, that just wasn't what God would have wanted us to do even though in our own eyes, it seemed like a 'good' thing. We commit to jobs and relationships, which are all great and noble things, but we don't listen to what our own soul is crying out for and we just end up feeling cheated and robbed at the end when things don't go the way we planned (which is.. usually the case ha!). And at the end of the day, we often times get ourselves in a deeper rut than we were before, all in the name of 'good' intention.

I feel that I begin this next part of life without having any vows to people (not even my boyfriend!), ideals, and to God. This sounds a little bit extreme that I have had to come to this place where I know no commitment (and seriously I had to break all the ones I had made in the past), but I think this was necessary because I've had so many cheap vows that I unwisely declared publicly that confused what the actual significance of my commitment was -- in the name of 'good' intention. At the same time, I made vows before (sometimes MANY) people and myself and God -- that were often times conflicting -- and nearly impossible to commit to even if I were to fulfill them all. AND, there were so many unspoken vows that I made -- which made it that much more difficult to keep -- simply because those unspoken vows were basically between me and God and they required me to really follow through with my words because I wanted to and not because of wanting approval, praise, glory or other things that have been important to me in the past. I just put myself up for more than I was called to and could even handle.

Something God is really revealing to me these days is that making commitments aren't bad, but when we make them while losing sight of our commitment to God Himself IS. I think a lot of times, we make all sorts of commitments to great things, relationships, and ideals but we don't even truly understand what our commitments to God are and how our other commitments fall under the one we made to God. We just get too ahead of ourselves.. and sometimes we just get too ahead of God! I think there is something within us that is naturally inclined to make commitments and want to make them in various forms (as much as we want to believe that we're so not the committal type) because we were created to have covenant with Him --but when we don't have that relationship with Him there is this constant void in us always seeking to find identity even in our commitments, pleasure from what we can DO, and other stuff. In this process, we often times fall prey to those natural inclinations without really considering what the cost of that commitment MEANS. "Yeah, I'll do it", or "I"ll be there for you no matter what", or "I will stand with you no matter what comes your way", or "You are my best friend". We've heard these things said from people around us, only to be disappointed many times because circumstances sometimes called for radical sacrifice and expensive costs (which we are usually not willing to take). And, we've probably said this to a handful of people as well, only to have fallen short to our words.

I am learning to distinguish the difference between having 'good' intention and having 'God' intention. Those who live with only 'good' intention make decisions based on what they think they need for themselves, what they think others need, and what they think God needs from them. On the flipside, those who live with 'God' intention makes decisions based on what God thinks and says through the word and His Spirit. period. 'Good' intentioned decisions revolve around the "Self", while 'God' intentioned decisions --- well..revolve around God Himself.

I have no ending to this, except that maybe some of us need some time to step away from great things such as relationships, jobs, visions, ourselves, ministries, and this list can go on to really find who is true and committed to us -- that which is God Himself. And then, when we have truly encountered Him and have come to know his commitment to us and our commitment to Him -- then... JUST THEN..maybe we might be able to make some healthy commitments which God will bring into fruition in fullness.

Lord, let our Yes to YOU be Yes and all else fall secondary to our response to YOU.

Matthew 5: 33-37
³³"Again you have heard that it was said to those of old,'You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.' ³⁴But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, ³⁵or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. ³⁶And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. ³⁷Let what you say be simply 'Yes' or 'No'; anything more than this comes from evil.