Out of the Brokenness

Luke 8:5-8
A sower went out to sow his seed, And as he sowed, some fell along the path and was trampled underfoot, and the birds of the air devoured it. And some fell on the rock, and as it grew up, it withered away, because it had no moisture. And some fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up with it and choked it. And some fell into good soil and grew and yielded a hundredfold. As he said these things, he called out, He who has ears, let him hear."

Many of us know this story of the parable of the sower and can probably identify with many parts of this parable. First and foremost, I think many of us find it really difficult to be found on "good soil" that bears much fruit. More times than others, we find ourselves on the path only to have the truth stolen from us. Or we might find ourselves on the rock and receive His truth with joy, yet be blown away by the wind because there are no roots established within us, and some more of us often times find ourselves caught in thorns being so distracted and swamped by the cares of this world that His truth cannot dwell with us. While I can relate with all of these experiences, I think most recently I've felt like the one who was on the rock. The one that received His word with great joy and believed, yet when circumstances changed I found myself being blown left and right away from His truth. While this is probably very obvious, I feel like I'm learning at the heart level that we can try to grow on a flat surface, but without firm roots established in the deep places, the growth will be limited, and it will eventually die if not grow at all.

The other day, I found myself sharing my testimony to a group of my co-workers and it hit me that it's been a long time since I've been able to sit down and just share His story with me from beginning to end (of course it was condensed!). I mean I think I always share personal things here and there, different parts to different people, but sharing the full story was another story. I didn't realize how emotionally, spiritually, and mentally vulnerable it required me to be, but I felt like I almost experienced some of the cracks that God has been drawing me to within ME. I found myself being unable to control some of my emotions and I even felt a little embarrassment want to creep in because my flesh wanted to be this strong woman that has overcome all things. But something someone shared really shed light to me and it really took things home in terms of where I am at. She explained how God has really been teaching her that He always has her lead out of her brokenness. When she said this, I just realized how it's been a long time since I've really gone to that broken place within me. I was looking back in the past years and just saw how I lead so many times from a place of insecurity that took on various forms -- not brokenness.

I mentioned in my previous blog about how I feel like I've been journeying into some of the pains of Jesus, and I guess I realize why He is drawing me deeper in there! Some of these pains are actually the ones that He has shared with me throughout my journey. In the past, I think I experienced my own past in such a self-pitying way and have even experienced them with other people in a insecure way, but I feel like perhaps for the first time I am experiencing them with only Jesus by my side as he's showing me my own brokenness and all that He has been with me through and lead me out of and continuing to do so. Stepping into some of my own cracks have been a bit overwhelming, but I'm understanding that God truly has us lead out of our brokenness, and that it is through those cracks that he establishes His roots in us that we might not be tossed to and fro but yield a hundredfold even when the winds blow and the waves come.

Lord thank you for being our steady rock that doesn't change by circumstances, but that secures us and guards us so that we might grow deeper in our relationship with you bearing MUCH fruit. Amen.

Luke 8:10-15
Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. The ones along the path are those who have heard. Then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. And the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear the word, receive it with joy. But these have no root; they believe for a while, and in time of testing fall away. And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature. As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.